Viva La Visa's Fezzie Guide 2019
It's that special time of the year again.
There's an occasional waft of burnt BBQ in the air. You're continually fleeing from wasp attacks and seeing old boys with their tops off has become the norm.
These tell-tale signs can mean only one thing for music lovers - festival season is upon us!
UK music festivals are some of the best in the world not only for hosting some of the best line-ups but also for the picturesque locations and most importantly - the festival experience.
Any seasoned festival goers will know precisely what we mean by festival experience. Mud, LOTS of mud. Three-day comedowns and taking long showers the minute you get home.
For all of you festival goers keen to catch some of the biggest acts around and undergo 'the festival experience' this year, here are some UK festivals to check out:
Glastonbury sets the bar when it comes to worldwide music festivals. The five-day extravaganza is something everyone should experience at least once in their lifetime.
The Festival is HUGE. Walking from your car park to the campsite will feel like an eternity. And losing your friends is not an option because you will never find them again (unless you have a phone with a signal, that still has battery life).
You will find the biggest names in music performing, but unless you're a time traveller, you probably won't see them all. It takes several days (closer to an hour) to walk from one side of the site to the other, and your favourite bands are almost ALWAYS playing at the same time.
Take it from us, don't plan to watch loads of bands, you'll never be able to do it. Instead, let the fun train carry you around everywhere and take each day as it comes.
For example, if a barefoot guy wearing a comfy pair of harem pants approaches you, (who is probably holding an LED Hula Hoop). And he invites you back to his tipi - go with it.
Chat into the early hours of the morning talking about what life would be like without mobile phones. Talk about the universe. Make new friends. It will make your experience magical.
Glastonbury is so much more than a music festival. It's all about the people you meet and the stories you bring home.
Look out for - themed worlds, immersive theatre, secret performances, that one guy in a banana suit, hidden bars, crazy costumes, quirky characters plus much more that we can't quite put into words!
Some of this year's acts we've worked with include Stormzy, The Cure, Liam Gallagher, Years & Years, Hot Chip, Snow Patrol, Wu-Tang Clan, Jungle, Friendly Fires, and Santigold. Other highlights include Janet Jackson, Miley Cyrus, Anne Marie, and Craig Richards.
When and Where: 26th - 30th June 2019, Pilton
Reading and Leeds Festival
Not for the faint-hearted. These two festivals have been a rite of passage for young music lovers for the past few decades.
Every year sees thousands of post-GCSE students flock to their Festival of choice (Reading or Leeds) for their first weekend away without their parents.
If you're looking for a picturesque, civilised festival where you can sleep through the night and go to the toilet without being scarred for life - then keep walking.
Whatever your music taste though, Reading and Leeds festival has a flavour for everyone. From Alternative Pop, Rock, Hip Hop, Dance and Metal to established Indie Bands. Everyone who's anyone will have played at Reading and Leeds.
Look out for: The super-fan whose entire life has been leading up to this Festival. Drunk people who fall asleep everywhere. That one guy in a banana suit, Strongbow, shit lager and pills.
Line-up highlights include - Foo Fighters, The 1975, Post Malone, Royal Blood, Twenty One Pilots, and Mura Masa.
When and Where: 23rd - 25h August 2019, Reading and Leeds
Creamfields has to be the most prolific dance festival in the world, set up by the iconic dance brand 'Cream' who are renowned for their legendary parties worldwide.
People travel from all over the world to see the best names in dance while drinking lots of beer and taking any drug that’s going.
The Festival attracts thousands of dance music enthusiasts every year. Most of whom look like they've been to the gym every day of their life, or they have never set foot in one – there’s no inbetween.
Get ready to dance your socks off. Just try not to get stuck behind the lad who films the entire set.
Look out for - Wannabe WAGs, Instagrammers 'living the moment' through their phones making #memories, that one guy in the banana suit, impressive visuals, lighting, and pyrotechnics.
Line-up highlights include - Annie Mac, Above & Beyond, Afrojack, Andy C, Alan Fitzpatrick, and Amelie Lens.
When and Where: 22nd - 25th August 2019, Pilton
Green Man Festival
With your average Festival, after several days of partying it's pretty common to feel like you need another holiday after your holiday to recharge. That certainly isn't the case with Green Man.
You will find this picturesque middle-class Festival nestled within the majestic Brecon Beacons in Wales.
Tucked away in the hills amongst the faux hippies wearing flower crowns and bandeau tops. You will find theatre and literary worlds, folk-inspired line-ups, various spa's therapies and local ales and ciders.
If that's not enough, you can explore miles and miles of mountains, forests, waterfalls, and rivers.
Look out for - beautiful scenery, wasps, embarrassing dads who are trying to relive their glory days, that one guy in the banana suit and Hurrah Henry's*
*Hunter wellie wearing, Waitrose shoppers who drive Chelsea Tractors to do the school run before walking their golden retrievers in their Barbour jackets.
Line-up highlights include - Father John Misty, Eels, Four Tet, Idles, and Yo La Tengo.
When and Where: 15th - 18th August 2019, Wales
All Points East Festival
If camping in a dirty field and sleeping on the floor is not your idea of a good time, we have news for you. There are a handful of festivals where you don't have to camp!
This 10-day music festival is held over two weekends, once a year, in Victoria Park. You can show up after a good night's sleep and feel squeaky clean when you get there.
The line-up features some of the most exciting names in music and probably some you've never heard of. So, unfortunately watching your favourite band might mean sitting through five acts you hate. Or you might discover a new group you love – you never know!
As well as music there's also an Outdoor Cinema, Live Music, Creative Workshops, Pop Up Bars (where you can buy a G&T or a £5 bottle of water), Street Food (to soak up those G&T's), Panels & Talks, plus loads more.
Look out for: white guardian readers, festival fashion princesses and hipsters being alternative and making you feel bad (probably about a band you like, who they discovered eight years ago).
Line-up highlights include - Christine and the Queens, James Blake, The Chemical Brothers, Bon Iver, and Mumford and Sons.
When and Where: 24th May - 2nd June 2019, London
Watching people chewing their faces off, dressed like disco balls who don't remember their names, as well as musical highlights, are just the beginning of this Festival.
Boomtown describes its Festival as a world within a world, and every year it announces a new chapter that continues an ongoing journey and theme.
This world of insanity will blow your mind at every turn (but you probably won't remember any of it).
The Festival is a hub of diverse and non-commercialised musical movements – and is popular with 17-year old’s who will most likely be off their faces on nos.
Look out for: mind-bending installations, that one guy in a banana suit, healing areas, overcomplicated costumes that will block your view, mutated 'art vehicles' and things that you have never experienced before.
Line-up highlights – Ms Lauryn Hill, Chase & Status, Four Tet, Spearhead, and Groove Armada.
When and Where: 7th - 12th August 2019, Winchester
Boardmasters gives any pretty picturesque festivals a run for their money and takes beautiful backdrops to the next level. What could be better than overlooking the Cornish coast of Newquay, while watching your favourite band?
The Festival takes place in two locations: Watergate Bay, where you will find all the live music, and Fistral Beach. At the beach, you can enjoy surfing competitions which attract world-class surfing professionals, along with BMX and skate sessions – aka eye candy.
Look out for: world-class surfing competitions, that one guy in a banana suit, beach bums, fresh seafood and girls wearing denim shorts so high up that they have butt cleavage.
Line-up highlights - Florence and the Machine, Foals, Dizzee Rascal, Wu-Tang-Clan
When and Where: 7th - 11th August 2019, Newquay
The run-up to Download always leaves festival goers with their fingers crossed, hoping for good weather.
Unfortunately, no amount of crossed fingers could stop the weather this year. As metal fans experienced some very wet conditions, leaving people rather muddy and nicknaming the Festival Brownload.
Expect to get very sweaty and mosh your socks and off to the biggest names in metal from 70's legends to the latest newcomers, all while drinking a nice warm pint, out of a plastic cup.
Look out for: Sweaty armpits in your face, stage divers (who will knock your fresh pint of Carlsberg out of your hand), shirtless men in cargo shorts, that one guy in a banana costume, MOSHPITS and lots and lots of mud.
Line-up highlights - Def Leppard, Slipknot, Tool, Slash, and Smashing Pumpkins
When and Where: 14th - 16th June 2019, Donington Park
Wilderness has a similar boutiquey vibe to Green Man, attracting the same kind of crowd. It's another festival where there is potential to come back feeling relaxed and recharged – which feels wrong to say.
Festivals that we used to know and love, as being cheap and filthy fun-filled extravaganzas are quickly becoming a thing of the past. Festivals in this day and age have become a much more luxurious affair.
This very refined getaway is one of the more posh and pretty festivals. Some of the festival itinerary includes: enjoying a banquet feast cooked by a leading chef, watching outdoor theatre performances, building a yurt (we're serious), and even doing a bit of horse riding – but of course.
Look out for - Organic cold-pressed juices, champagne bars, floral crowns, yoga posers and girls wearing glittery makeup getting dropped off by their mums in their BMW 3 series.
Line-up highlights 2019 - Robyn, Bombay Bicycle Club, Tom Odell, and Caravan Palace.
When and Where: 1st - 4th August, Oxfordshire
Once a year latitude festival takes over the beautiful surrounds of Henham Park, which is just around the corner from our Suffolk office. However, the once edgy and artsy £95 Festival we remember from 2016, has changed over the years.
The edgy festival vibes have changed into laid-back, family-friendly vibes attracting a comfortable, wealthy middle-class audience where a ticket will now set you back £190.
You will find lots going on, including headline acts and upcoming musicians. However, it's highly likely that you'll have no idea who 80 per cent of them are.
There's also comedy, yoga workshops, KNITTING TENTS, probably a massage and meditation tent, prosecco bars, art installations and paddle-boarding. There are also food stalls from Street Feast where you can probably find an excellent quinoa dish.
By the end of the Festival, you will find children sitting on people's shoulders, crowd surfers, and hula hoopers will make you hate humankind.
Look out for: pastel-coloured sheep, that guy in the banana suit, the disco shed, late night parties in the woods, that one person who gets too drunk and has to go to bed early and lake swimming.
Line-up highlights 2019 - Robyn, Bombay Bicycle Club, Tom Odell, and Caravan Palace.
When and Where: 18th – 21st July, Southwold,